The Veridian Foundation. Helping the world, then telling people about it, makes us feel so good. The Veridian Foundation. Helping the world, by telling people we’re helping the world.
Better Off Ted 2.11 - “Mess of a Salesman”
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Posts tagged better off ted
Jan27
Veronica: That sounds wonderful.
Linda: I hate it when you mock me.
Veronica: I’m serious.
Linda: And when you mock me for pointing out that you’re mocking me.
Veronica: I’m not mocking you.
Linda: And when you mockingly insist you’re not mocking me.
Better Off Ted 2.11 - “Mess of a Salesman”
![Phil: We once went to buy six four-inch petri dishes and instead bought four six-inch petri dishes.Lem: [laughs] It was crazy how slightly bigger it was than we needed.Better Off Ted 2.11 - “Mess of a Salesman”](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwx8iwmw701qzjcnfo1_500.jpg)
Phil: We once went to buy six four-inch petri dishes and instead bought four six-inch petri dishes.
Lem: [laughs] It was crazy how slightly bigger it was than we needed.
Better Off Ted 2.11 - “Mess of a Salesman”
Jan20
Veronica: I need you to design me a perfect bagel.
Lem: Perfect but somehow evil?
Phil: Like halfway down your throat it triples in size or tells you the end to Rocky 4?
Better Off Ted 2.10 - “Lust in Translation”
Ted: Phil, why on Earth would you use your voice for the translator device?
Phil: It was the fastest way to fix it since we already had my voice in the computer from that failed talking frying pan project.
Lem: Stupid thing wouldn’t stop screaming when you put it on the burner.
Phil: Plus it was very critical. ‘You really need that much butter?’ Screw you, frying pan.
Better Off Ted 2.10 - “Lust in Translation”
Ted: The Germans are worried about working with us because ironically they think that Veridian is ruthlessly efficient and bent on world domination.
Phil: Wow, that’s like when those Irish auditors thought our accounting department drank too much and wrote overly depressing poetry.
Better Off Ted 2.10 - “Lust in Translation”
Jan13
Veronica: So, you’re going to be in a room filled with weak, malleable children and a man is going to bring in a toy. When he does, you’re going to say very bad things about it.
Rose: Why?
Veronica: Because we’re telling you to and you should always do what adults tell you to do, especially when they give you candy.
Better Off Ted 2.09 - “The Long and Winding High Road”
Linda: You make no sound when you walk.
Veronica: Then I am ready to leave the monastery and avenge my parents. I’m kidding, I just buy expensive shoes made from very soft animals.
Better Off Ted 2.09 - “The Long and Winding High Road”
Veridian Dynamics. Doing the right thing, it’s important. What does it mean in business? We have no idea. We know what wrong is. Actually, no we don’t. Because we’re a successful company, not some boring ethics professor. Veridian Dynamics. Right and wrong. It means something. We just don’t know what.
Better Off Ted 2.09 - “The Long and Winding High Road”
Janet: I don’t like that memo anymore either, way too many people are having fun with my name.
Ted: I’m surprised it took this memo to get that train out of the station.
Better Off Ted 2.08 - “The Impertence of Communicationizing”
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